Her smile ........kills

To IMPRESS a WOMAN
Compliment her
Respect her
Honor her,
Cuddle her,

Caress her,
Love her,
Comfort her,
Protect her,

Hold her,
Spend money on her,
Wine and dine her,
Buy things for her,
Listen to her,

Care for her,
Stand by her,
Support her,
Hold her,

Go to the ends of the Earth for her.


- How to IMPRESS a MAN -
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JUST SMILE ONCE AND HE'S IMPRESSED

Well folks sorry for digressing from the current theme topic and dealing with this smile !!!!!


So here comes this cute , angelic , too good to be true girl in your life , someone you've always dreamt of , someone with a smile that kills .............

and you scramble to get hold of common threads that could work wonders.....

Are you pursuing CA???
Have you read Da Vinci Code???
Are you a member of the same youth group in college as I am?
Do you also stay in the same place as i do???

A "yes" from her side heralds a volley of questions

The focus is all on the smile ,the sparkle in the eye.....you are least bothered about her reply to these incessant questions ....often the ecstacy makes you talk stupid... but as long as she smiles ...why bother!

There are times when accompanying her while travelling
you do not seem to mind missing the Metro by a fraction of a second
OR
actually do not get bugged by those red-lights at each crossing , those traffic snarls at loggerheads with the crowded bus rearing to march down Strand Road

This is the heaven sent extra time...the most opportune moment to carve a niche for yourself in her heart / mind to begin with

Kal Ho Naa Ho .........

Maybe the cruel reality of tomorrow would quash all your high-hopes..."Hi ....Meet Shekhar ...my best friend...we've been friends since childhood !!!" she would blurt out with the excitement in her eye at its usual crest
And you would actually shake hands with this stranger...whom whom you'd actually wanna kick at the rear end

In school we were taught to share all the good things we posessed with others....
"Shouldn't Shekhar do the same?" ....
Comes a terse reply "No"...
Shekhar refuses to oblige!!!

But don't trouble trouble before trouble troubles you...

Let's for the time being assume that Shekhar is not in the picture

We continue with the smiles ...the smiles that make life's miles seem a cinch

The warm "Hi... How Are You ?" on the phone in the evening that reduces to nought all the weariness that those long ,endless hours on MS Excel worksheets bring!!!!

Suddenly ll the "Dil To Pagal Hai "s and the "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai"s come alive.....there is a rush of these memeories that grip you persistently

"Bholi si surat
aankhon mein masti
dur khadi sharmaye
aaye hai"
is what you humm continuously to yourself!!

Suddenly the miser of the misers prefers to fork out thirty odd rupees a month for a caller tune " Pehla Nasha Pehla Khuma..Naya Pyaar hai Naya Intezaar" on his cell-phone !!

Suddendly the I-will- not- take-any-favour-from-anyone is found cajoling didis into forwarding amazing shayaris sms to his cell phone so that he in turn can do the same

"Ek Din Humari Muskaan Humse Pooch Bhaithi
Humein Roz Roz Kyun Bulati Ho
Hum Bole
Hum Yaad Apne Khaas Dost Ko Karte hain
Tum Yun Hi Chali Aati Ho "

Suddenly there's an awareness that looks do matter...and so facials , scrubs , Emami "Fair& Handsome" creams

The smile is wreaking havoc....
Nothing can be done about it
"It's all biology at play ...you know testosterones and the progestrones" Quoteth Ajay Devgan in "Yuva"
Cupid has struck...
As I say the smile KILLS



Disclaimer

This particular piece is purely a figment of my imagination ...already stifled by 13 years in a boys-only school followed by those desolate 3 years in a boys-only college

Symptoms may vary across those affected by this strange virus

It's unlikely that such a girl actually exists ...and even if she does I'll prefer life to death..the smile kills naa...

So any resemblance to a person living or dead is highly improbable & purely co-incidental !!!!

All litigations are subject to Kolkata High Court only

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Anurag 21:52  5 comments

Reflections in Retrospect

"Reports of my death are premature and highly exaggerated." It was a shock of my lifetime to find my obituary printed in the second page of one of the leading dailies of Eastern India, while having my bed tea one fine morning. Anurag Singal is still alive--the statement reverberated across my entire existence.It was after all nothing more than just a printing mistake and now around 5 lacs readers were under the grossly mistaken notion that I had already left for my heavenly abode!!!

The barrage of thoughts culminated in one simple question I asked myself. Have I lived enough ---as the quote goes "There is just one life to live and one is enough". Enough to gaze at the vast blue expanse of the sky, to hear the birds chirping, to find the waters of the Ganga resplendent with the golden hue of the Sun. Enough to look back with nostalgia. To look ahead with hope. I reminded myself of a realisation that had dawned upon me while watching an interview of the legendary comedian as well as an awesome actor, Anupam Kher ---> a man's childhood constitutes his biggest assets --not the million dollars stacked away in his bank account or the dazzling Chevrolet Optra that he drives from home to office. Its on the contrary the number of childhood pranks that you've managed to execute with dexterity. Its the number of times your Dad has had to buy you a chocolate in order to cajole you to go to school.. the number of hard fist blows you've gifted to your peers in school.

Quite fortunate I consider myself to have experienced these little joys of life. The joy of haggling with the vegetable vendor so that the price ultimately negotiated would earn accolades from your Mom, the joy of duping your audit manager beacuse you had to meet someone special today. The joy of racing against the wind and burning off those excess calories, the lush green meadows refreshing your delicate eyes; wearied by those long endless hours crunching data on lifeless MS Excel spreadsheets.From being the cynosure of all eyes to being the notorious backbencher, each phase of life has been unleashing my instincts full throttle. The journey from the 1st year in college where we religiously took down class notes to the 3rd year where all that mattered was a 75% attendance. You would have no qualms /be afflicted by pangs of conscience while slipping out of the class backdoor after your roll number was marked present by the erudite professor.

Change,they say, is the only constant in life. Eveything changes-your perspectives, your ambitions, your hopes, your fears, your greeds --everything. Time forces you to evolve into an altogether different Homo Sapien, one who looks back at the years that have passed by and asks himself "Was it the same me who had acted that way?". Time , they say, is a great teacher. From those early teenage crushes on anyone who looked a fraction alike to your favourite movie star(female..of course) to finally have the temerity to walk past that gorgeous girl and indulge in the self-talk 'Oh ! she is just born with a gr8 face. What's the big deal".

Beauty is a philosophy. Its not about the person who's being beholden but in the mind of the person who's seeing.It all about a perception which can be entirely physical when you don't know the other person. And when you do, its always determined by the other qualities. Its more of a perception which is never black, white or determinate. .......Global gyaan, dude, simply rocks !!A new dimension to life is added each day.

The change literally takes you by surprise.You smile back and assure yourself." Yeah ! it was me "

Even if I die today, no regrets whatsover. Most of them would remember me with varied emotions --and that variety stands to be my biggest achievement hitherto.

Thanx Lady Luck for being so considerate on this bloke

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Anurag 07:59  1 comment

Aboard the Boards

ICSE ..our Class 10 Boards....

My younger bro Arps (Arpit), just through with his recently concluded Boards, is now on Cloud Nine. There is this somehow so strange but yet so natural nonchalance that grips you after once the last paper gets over!!!!

Maybe it was because it was your first tryst with pressure ..the pressure of being the cynosure of all eyes ..the pressure of securing a percentage which not just you but all your near and dear ones could boast of for the rest of their lives!!!

So "no stone left unturned" would be the most apt phrase to describe our preparation for the D-Day

There is a complete sea change in our attitude towards studies...those hitherto despised books become so endearing

There are so many first times in our life

For the first time, we actually forge a bond of friendship with the alarm clock and wake up in the morning ...the old adage of "Early to Bed Early To Rise" comes alive

For the first time, we have a hard time convincing our subconscious that missing a cricket ODI is not the end of the world...it's just a temporary comprimise with life

For the first time we say no to an offer for a movie ..even if it's featuring our favorite star
....or an invitation to a wedding reception ..foregoing all the ice creams and the pastries ..

"Mera Boards hai na....mujhe padhna hai" is the standard refrain

For the first time the para addas wear a deserted look

For the first time we pray so fervently " O God ......pls pls pls....."
"I want 90% marks.....okay ..okay..."; you kind of bargain with Him;... "80 % will do ...."
I want to be in the 'top 3 '..okay..okay..enough of bargaining yet again ....'top 10' of my school...
I want to at least pass in all the subjects especially Geography ...
I am leaving Chapter 9 of Chemistry...it's a tough nut to crack...kindly ensure that not many questions come from there... "

This is almost like your walking up to a grocery shop with a requirement list and conveying it all in a minute ...
God, the shopkeeper,would so copiously take down all the notes while you speak and then make an earnest endeavour to deliver it all..that too free of cost in this particular case

A slab wise incentive scheme is put into place w.r.t. the results ..just like the income tax rates put by Chidambaram
A thousand rupees for each mark above 450 in best of five subjects....from Papa
A cycle for passing in all subjects ....from Mummy
A wrist-watch for scoring 'x' marks in Accounts from Chaacha...etc etc..

As the exam days approach, the butterflies in the stomach become all the more nauseating..there's anxiety writ all over that face of yours..."Kya Hoga ?????"

On the exam eve..you purchase the most stylish pen ..cost is not a factor ..after all it's the boards..

As you go off to sleep it's .."Papa pls wake me up in the morning at 4.30 ..."
The Kumbhakran by habit over the years is cautious now "What if I snooze the alarm and doze off to yet another round of sleep..that would be disastrous naa..the just too difficult to memorise devils have to be compulsorily revised"

Finally it's the D-Day ..the make or break moment..
you get so conscious and help yourself to yet another glass of water.

After the exams you simply refuse to discuss the paper with your friends "No discussions this time " is the verdict..
"I just wanna ensure that this inadvervent silly mistake doesn't creep in during the discussion and play spoilsport for the rest of my exams..."

So it's a season ..the season of so many 'first times' ..that will take you into the world of nostalgia whenever you want a few years down the line ..when your brother,son, grandson..have their brsuh with reality for the first time ..

This article of mine published in The Telegraph...Careergraph...Word Of Mouth ...4th of April,2001 encapsulates the way I felt after my board exams..

Here it goes..

"Surmounting the Boards challenge is really great"..exclaim all the students of our batch. For some the results are a gateway to the Hall of fame, others wait to study Science after that 80%,for yet more it's an ordeal that they've cleared somehow.The happiest part is that we've bid farewell to History, Geography...

Whether you want to study Shakespeare or not, whether you are interested in knowing what Lord Wavell proposed to Gandhiji or whether Sipu nadi flows from north-east to south-west or not, you have to master 3000 pages of the curriculum, solve 10 years papers, avoid playing and gossiping for at least two months and yet not utter a word in protest...that's preparing for the Board Exams

We've successfully overcome 11 tension laden days including the daunting Physics paper and now wait with great anticipation for June.Now we are the cynosure of all eyes.In a moment we may turn from heroes to zeroes or vice versa.Prizes await or punishment.It's tormenting.It's frustating.It's a harrowing experience preparing for ICSE 2001.Its mind boggling studying for hours together.Yet 183 students of DBL have got their act together and done it.Now the para addas are active again and the air is laden with a buzz of excitement.We're basking in the glory of being matriculates,subject to the results in June.Who'll feature in the toppers list???Who'll score how many '1' points( greater than 90 marks in a particular subject)?? Will anyone score 99s ??Lots of statistics!!Lots of celebrations or........!!!!

Come what may, we are prepared

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Anurag 00:41  No comment