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Oh Calcutta !!


'To be or not to be with you; that is the question'

For the last five and a half years, I have been battling this question day in and out; to stay in Calcutta alias Kolkata or leave the city. And its not just me, but dozens of seniors, juniors and contemporaries who keep facing this dilemma.

I go to these GMCS classes at ICAI, counselling young and energetic Chartered Accountants on the career path that they should adopt. You show them how the CA degree can give you a global career with entry into any decent size company. Suddenly goes up a hand and asks " Sir, what about job opportunities in Kolkata? I want or I have to stay here because of my family". The subconscious mind replies instantly " Whether it is a personal desire to stay with family or a compulsion; his/her career would invariably be doomed". Same goes for these random queries about Kolkata jobs at my job portal (Link) ; the posts which occasionally feature jobs at Kolkata sell like hot cakes; 1500 pageviews in 2 hours.

Freshers are happy to work at 50% of the salary that they could have otherwise commanded in other cities. They will work for 20k salaries in mid sized CA firms, do copy paste jobs in KPOs, join "babu/laala companies" (promoter driven groups with zero corporate governance), get into selling corporate salary accounts but not leave Calcutta. Except for a lucky few, the gap in salary with peers keeps widening with the years you spend in Kolkata increase; in 5 years time, you have your juniors commanding higher salaries in other cities as compared to you. No matter how hard you crib for promotions at whichever company you choose to work for, you will not get it. "You want promotion also !!! Isn't a Kolkata posting enough? " . You cannot implement the tried and tested Corporate Mantra of "Recognition by Resignation". Subtle threats of resignation that you pass into the company's ecosystem are ignored as they very well know that you cannot leave Kolkata. In the worst case, they will throw you a bit " Transfer for promotion.."chalega?" (Do you agree). You withdraw the protest.

With just 2-3 companies with decent corporate governance practices having their CHQ here, the rest with regional offices and KPOs, you realise that there are limited options where would you go?. Many people dither at the prospect of joining these the promoter driven 'babu' companies as the beta factor is very high. So you brace themselves for accepting the " Chal raha hai " syndrome which is present in most professionals here.

I sometimes wonder what is so great about this city that people embrace stagnation but refuse to leave it. Why are they obsessed with the idea of being stuck here when they very well no that they are not doing justice to their talent here?

"Money is not everything in life" comes the quick retort. "Yahan zindagi mein shanti hai." . It smacks of the 'sour grapes' fable. I say this because in these modern times most people do measure your success by the amount of money you are earning in your job. I believe that from a job, Form 16 is eventually what you take home. " Whats your CTC? "Cut kata ke haath mein kitna aata hai" (What's your take home after all the deductions?) is the standard question used these days, even when the girl's father comes to see a guy from the marriage standpoint. Then why live in a state of self-denial about money making being a futile goal to chase in life?

Talk about the work culture in this city and its deplorable to the power infinity. Obsessed with the idea of celebrating thirteen festivals in twelve months, most Kolkatans hate work and find it an interference between their Rabindra Sangeet sessions, para addas and 'pujas with bhasaan dances'. Say if a working day falls between 5 days of Durga Puja holiday and the weekend, the government intervenes to alleviate the misery of people and declares a special holiday so that people can take an uninterrupted break from work. If that causes the banking system to collapse, its ok ! "Who cares? Money is not everything in life". People wait for 'bandhs' (sadly rare these days) so that its yet another excuse for staying back at home. Go to any government office, say a tax department office or a post office and trying extracting work. The clerk stares at you with hatred as if you have committed a gross error by asking him to work. "Ektu boshun. Aeto tada karko ki hobe.Ektu boshun moshaye?". (Why are you pestering me by your impatience. Things don't work so fast here. You must sit for a while and wait). It is criminal to expect efficiency. Not that the private sector is far behind. Yes, here driven by KRAs , ratings and variable pays, people have their asses perpetually on fire and thus are forced to work.  But they surely hate it. Trust me.

Crab mentality on the work-front is another jewel in the crown.  Because these people 'care' for each other, they will interfere in your life to such an extent that you will be shocked. As explained above, most people with their "chal raha hai" have killed their drive for career growth. Hence, the moment they see a sparkle in your eye, they turn green with envy and ostracize you. They don't want to grow (at least not through hard work or knowledge) and how can they then allow you to grow? If the boss likes you, they feel its because of the 'oiling'. Work can never be a reason for growth here. 'Chamcha hai saala' (he is a sycophant) is the standard refrain. No one is least interested in what is going on in his/her life. 'Dusra ka zindagi mein ungli' (Poking your nose in other's affairs) is the favourite office timepass. Insecurity runs at an all-time high in all offices here. You can test it with the new jealousy barometer invented by me :)

This goes on in personal life also If you are a spendthrift, you surely must be having other dubious means of income. If you spend after thinking, you are such a 'kanjoos' or  a poor man who deserves a pity. If you smoke a cigarette, they will roam around tinsel town telling people that he smokes. If you are seen with a girl, it is again a social crime- a new gossip topic for the para adda.  Look at the grandeur at weddings here. Middle class people who travel in buses throughout their life are forced by the social customs to spend exorbitant sums of money at their children's wedding. When the wedding news ushers in " Where is the reception? Who is the caterer? is it Ganpati? Rajesh Ganpati? Else its not upto the mark !!  People who don't even eat Bananas during their daily life want the best of imported Kiwis at the wedding receptions and then will write off saying " it was a bit khatta..not upto the mark". Super fat aunties , otherwise beset with sugar and BP,will line up at the puchka and besan chilla counters; gobble it all and then say " not that great..namak kam tha (salt was less)" .  If ladies are caught wearing the same saree and jewellery again, its such a social stigma. This causes financial disaster to the husbands. The point is that even though people might show a lot of concern for each other, eventually I find a lot of jealousy and the "he should not grow faster than me" insecurity garbed under the cloak of 'care' here. So the 'samaaj" (society) here is mostly for "ungli' (interference)

The cost of living is the final clincher. " Jo haath mein aata hai, woh bacch jata hai" (You save most of what you earn as expenses are negligible). I believe the reason for this is that people actually earn less. The government forces prices to be artificially curtailed. Look at the recent case where the government does not allow price hike in bus fare in spite of diesel price increases. The noble objective is that the common man shouldn't suffer. But eventually, the number of buses plying on the road has reduced. So buses are overcrowded. Since fares don't rise, the bus drivers refuse to drive the buses forward unless they are so full that you can be choked to death. Yes, rentals are lower here than in other cities ; you get a shuttle here which is a rarity in other cities but eventually if people in other cities are able to afford a more lavish lifestyle on a sustainable basis, its because they earn more!!

Summing up, not that I hate this city, it is still one of the sweetest cities in the country and that other cities might be even worse but for sure it refuses to get in sync with the times; it derives a sadistic pleasure from throttling talent and simply lets you rot sitting on the 'lazy boy' chair.  When I am vocal in my criticism for the city, I know I can be blamed for a dichotomy between my "kathni and karni" (talks and action). This is because I am one of those freshers who had also happily embraced a massive pay cut while shifting back to the city n the year 2008. I am one of those experienced professionals who salary today might have gone lower than what my juniors command in other cities. But yet I still haven't been able to muster the courage enough to leave. Maybe i have also got used to the laziness in the air and if I don't act now soon, am sure the day will come when someone from a different city would come and tell me

"Aaj mere paas bangla hai, gadi hai, paisa hai.......tumhare paas kya hai" 

and..........

 I would reply " Mere paas Kolkat mein job hai"

# wake up call # leave the 'lazy boy' chair #Time to act decisively Kolkatans # hurry up before its too late !!!



Tagged under:

Randomness !!!!!!

A strange realisation that suddenly dawned upon me and thought I’d share it with you’ll
Our lives are essentially a function of randomness
from the chromosomes determining our gender
to the families we are born into,
from the random lottery determining our KG admissions
to our bench partners being randomly allotted to us in class and becoming a lifetime friend,
from the random questions we revise just before entering an exam hall and finding them in the
paper
to the random moods of the examiner determining our marks
from the wicked sharks we bump into randomly
to the angels we discover randomly
from the random job consultants suddenly calling up
to the random people becoming our bosses
random people we fall in love with or are forced to
random death sequences
It is this randomness that essentially determines how our lives go down the pages of history
Its this randomness that we ought to surrender ourselves to
Tagged under:

Nanaji















Laughing faces do not mean that there is absence of sorrow ! It just means they have the ability to deal with it !!! Nothing epitomised this more than my Nanaji !!

I just can't seem to forget the calm voice in which he'd utter his magic words "koi khaas baat nahi hai " that would instantly put to rest all the waves of turbulence that would be hitherto tormenting your existence till the point you finally decided to share the same with him.

The reassuring impact would be all the more profound for someone who knew him closely, for someone who had either seen / heard (like me) how the man who had refused to say "Quits" to life in his 63 years but somehow had always managed to muster the strength to move ahead with unbridled enthusiasm......

He'd strike up instant solutions to all your problems.....

A school-days incident strikes me instantly:

Way back in the year 1999, freshly enrolled into a Class 9 Accountancy course, the school rules didn't permit usage of the calculator. Wondering how to cross-check my answers,especially when one had to sum up a long list of numbers. I went up to him with perplexed looks on my face.He simply smiled and said "All that you need to i) do is add up the digits in the long list of numbers and ii) find the remainder on dividing by 9. If this matches with the remainder obtained on dividing the answer by 9, be rest assured that the casting is correct !!!!!!". I was dumb-struck by the sheer mathematical excellence. This was some rule of Vedic Mathematics coming from a person who had very little formal education. "Wow..Nanaji...u are great " was the instant reply ........his little trick helped me score a 99 in Accountancy that exam and I was on Cloud Nine. When I showed him my report card, he said it was time for celebration. "Bhutta khilayega kya?" he asked ..."Dekhna kacha daana hona chahiye" .....little things in life brought him so much joy !!!

Everything about him had a particular style ...from his attire to his walking style ...from the literature he read to his social circle!!!

On each occasion in our family, be it a birthday or an anniversary, we'd line up to take his blessings by turn.......he'd take out his bundle of crisp Rs 100 notes and hand each of us one .....we still have them preserved with us ....no one dares spend them !!! I may add that so concerned was he about everyone that he'd hand over Mom 3 notes for Didz, Jiju and Reet, my niece also ...to be given without default the next time he came !!!

He truly was the value strategist of our family , who's vision steered the execution of our lives !!

He was equally receptive to our jokes. With age , as one' wisdom increases, he gets balder ........but the few remaining hair-strands were Nanaji's prized possession !!! While we giggle away in our hearts of hearts, we'd urge him that it was high time he went for a haircut :) He'd respond with his usual smile .."Haan ...naai ke jaana hai ..time nahi mil raha"

He himself would share jokes of his youth days with us !! Once he had gone to a customer in Burtolla Street to collect his payment and the customer asked him to wait and continuously kept looking at the sky. Exasperated beyond a point , at 6 pm , Nanaji asked him ..."aasmaan mein se tapkega kya paisa ? payment hai toh de nahi toh jai raam ji ki " ..He burst into laughter when the customer politely replied " Sahaab , baarish nahi aane pe fatka laga rakha hai. Bas 15 minutes nahi aayi toh Rs 10,000 kamayenge ..ussi se aapko payment denge " !!!

Once I had suddenly developed a fancy for an experiment to burn a piece of paper by focusing the sun's rays with a convex glass !!! I had just shared this aspiration of mine with him when I went to nanibaadi......To my utter surprise, the next day , he came himself to hand me over my cherished toy......God knows where he had sourced it from as I had been desperately searching tinsel town since days for this. This was just once such incident ...each and every demand of ours , if overturned at Mom/Dad's level would be fulfilled by him !! he'd especially turn our "lender of the last resort " when we had run out of our pocket money for the month .....

The moment someone didn't visit him for a few days , a call would instantly come up ....."kya hua , kisi cheez mein uljha hua hai kya ?" and you'd rush off to meet him !!!

And suddenly post Diwali-09, the turn of events eventually snatched him from us in a time span of less than six months.

We lost him !!

Lost to the corrupt hospital, to the insensitive doctors

But eventually I'd say we lost him to destiny !!!

Probably the Almighty needed him more than us !!!

Tomorrow (16.09.10) would be the first time when I'd not be able to touch Nanaji's feet for blessings on my birthday ...and it would be painful, really painful !!

Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes.
Tagged under:

Didz........


"Monu ...will u cry at the time of my vidai ?" my didz would time and again ask me ..
"Paagal hai kya " would be my instant reply .. "It would be the happiest moment of my life ..Imagine the joy of having the whole bed at my disposal.. The almirah in it's entirety. Realisation of the fact that post your marriage ,I would be an eligible bachelor puts me on Cloud Nine."

But as she walked down the aisle on the 5th of February ...this apparently so insensitive brother of hers was overcome by an irresistible surge of emotions ...memories of a 22 years of an awesome association flashed by him in split seconds ...and he was left in tears ...he cried contrary to public expectation!!!!!

Yes, I cried!!!!!!!!
The sudden realisation dawned upon me that henceforth my sweet sis would be Mrs. Nitika Agrawal and not Ms Nitika Singal !
That she would now don the mantle of a bahu and that vermillon, bindis, saris and payals would now characterise her existence...it would not just be her appearance for a fancy dress competition as she had done in class KG ..!!
That from now on I would be touching her feet for blessings!!!
That henceforth she'd just be a guest to our house and her visits marked by much fanfare would be only ocassional !!!!

22 years of an association marked by awesome moments ..moments of joy ..moments of despair.. moments when we taunted each other .moments when we made faces at each other ..

Those unforgettable moments probably constitute our biggest treasures!

I would sleathily enter into the room where she was exercising in the guise of dancing and tease her for trying to shed that excess flab!! "Moti..." (the more she got irritated ,it was all the more thrilling..)

No sooner did she return from office then I would rush off to the jhaal muri vendor
"Futafatt ek muri baniye ..bittu didi ke liye " and he'd understand it all ..would require no further instructions for his most-valued customer!

The wars she'd wage on me on realising from the wrappers thrown around that I had enjoyed an entire Dairy Milk when she was away from home and apprehending that I had not kept back even a single piece for her ...It was like her uttering to me " How could you do this to me,Monu ?" and then I'd unwillingly hand over to her that 50% of the chocolate bar .."Take !! take your Goonda Tax"

The contrasting manner in which we reacted when we got to know that now there was a new entrant in each other's lives ...Hrithik in hers and Aish in mine..
I took it quite sportingly ..even gifted her 16 photographs of her crush on her 16th birthday ...
She,on the other hand, got outrightly insecure ..I donno why .. didz would would leave no stone unturned to bring Aish's flaws to my notice...would be on the top of the world when a movie on Aish on rare ocassions bombed at the box-office

I would be about to appreciate the taste of a new dish served at dinner but would immediately retract when I'd get the hint that it was she who had cooked it ..."Kuch khaas baat nahi hai tera dish mein .it's so-so types ..you can never match my Mom..!!"

I would insist on her calling me "Bhaiya" nd would cite instances of such occurrences in the locality! To this she would vehemently protest .."Check your date of birth dear..it's 16.09.1984 ..that's way way behind 21.05.1983!
On top of that,in terms of education,I am ahead of you by 3 years ( There's a secret to that ..Lemme clarify that I've never had to repeat a class in my entire academic career.It's only that .....) .."Jaa Jaa Chal Hut!Bittu!" ..that was the only way I could extract my revenge ...by not calling her Didi!

She'd chat endlessly for hours at a stretch with my Airtel jiju during her courtship period ..I'd get mischievous and would sit just next to her .."Hum Bhi aap log ka bat sunegaa..hum akela hai" I'd utter."Monu ..plz go away .." the lady would shout immediately as she became so conscious of my presence.."I'll talk to u later" she'd tell my jiju and hang up the phone.

Believe me this is only the tip of the iceberg..we've always being at loggerheads to each other!

However in midst of all this melodrama , she remains world's best didz ..the most intelligent,understanding and healthy girl in the world ( I hope that one understands the context in which I've used the above terms ...with all their grammatical variations and cognate expressions)Her marriage leaves behind a void which gets so overwhelming at times ..

You wake up in the morning ..in a semi -conscious state and try to locate Didz on her share of the bed now wholly at your disposal and then suddenly realise that ..

The doorbell rings at 8.00p.m. and you shout "Mom... Didi has come .. am going to bring Jhaalmuri for her" and then you suddendly realise that ...

The subconscious mind instantly, almost like a ritual, earmarks for her 50 % of the chocolate bar..the Goonda Tax ..and then suddendly realises that the Goonda (Goondi) is 12-13 kms away in another home sweet home.

You spend hours with your mom planning the dress you'd wear at tuitions the next morning ..wondering whether a Steel Grey shirt with Creme trousers would be fine!
Finally the unresolved dilemna takes the form of an sms to Didz " Yuck..Poor Combination" comes the reply instantly .."Wear the black shirt ..the one I had bought for you last year "

Trust me .life has become so confusing when your sole decision maker on almost all matters under the sun is now not at your instant disposal ..the bed and the almirah fail miserably to bridge this gap

There's an irreristible urge to get back to the bygone days .

There's an irreristible urge to send across the message..

"Alone I can only say but together we can shout

Alone I can only smile but together we can laugh

Alone I can only live but together we can celebrate"
Tagged under:

Her smile ........kills


To IMPRESS a WOMAN
Compliment her
Respect her
Honor her,
Cuddle her,

Caress her,
Love her,
Comfort her,
Protect her,

Hold her,
Spend money on her,
Wine and dine her,
Buy things for her,
Listen to her,

Care for her,
Stand by her,
Support her,
Hold her,

Go to the ends of the Earth for her.


- How to IMPRESS a MAN -
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JUST SMILE ONCE AND HE'S IMPRESSED

Well folks sorry for digressing from the current theme topic and dealing with this smile !!!!!


So here comes this cute , angelic , too good to be true girl in your life , someone you've always dreamt of , someone with a smile that kills .............

and you scramble to get hold of common threads that could work wonders.....

Are you pursuing CA???
Have you read Da Vinci Code???
Are you a member of the same youth group in college as I am?
Do you also stay in the same place as i do???

A "yes" from her side heralds a volley of questions

The focus is all on the smile ,the sparkle in the eye.....you are least bothered about her reply to these incessant questions ....often the ecstacy makes you talk stupid... but as long as she smiles ...why bother!

There are times when accompanying her while travelling
you do not seem to mind missing the Metro by a fraction of a second
OR
actually do not get bugged by those red-lights at each crossing , those traffic snarls at loggerheads with the crowded bus rearing to march down Strand Road

This is the heaven sent extra time...the most opportune moment to carve a niche for yourself in her heart / mind to begin with

Kal Ho Naa Ho .........

Maybe the cruel reality of tomorrow would quash all your high-hopes..."Hi ....Meet Shekhar ...my best friend...we've been friends since childhood !!!" she would blurt out with the excitement in her eye at its usual crest
And you would actually shake hands with this stranger...whom whom you'd actually wanna kick at the rear end

In school we were taught to share all the good things we posessed with others....
"Shouldn't Shekhar do the same?" ....
Comes a terse reply "No"...
Shekhar refuses to oblige!!!

But don't trouble trouble before trouble troubles you...

Let's for the time being assume that Shekhar is not in the picture

We continue with the smiles ...the smiles that make life's miles seem a cinch

The warm "Hi... How Are You ?" on the phone in the evening that reduces to nought all the weariness that those long ,endless hours on MS Excel worksheets bring!!!!

Suddenly ll the "Dil To Pagal Hai "s and the "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai"s come alive.....there is a rush of these memeories that grip you persistently

"Bholi si surat
aankhon mein masti
dur khadi sharmaye
aaye hai"
is what you humm continuously to yourself!!

Suddenly the miser of the misers prefers to fork out thirty odd rupees a month for a caller tune " Pehla Nasha Pehla Khuma..Naya Pyaar hai Naya Intezaar" on his cell-phone !!

Suddendly the I-will- not- take-any-favour-from-anyone is found cajoling didis into forwarding amazing shayaris sms to his cell phone so that he in turn can do the same

"Ek Din Humari Muskaan Humse Pooch Bhaithi
Humein Roz Roz Kyun Bulati Ho
Hum Bole
Hum Yaad Apne Khaas Dost Ko Karte hain
Tum Yun Hi Chali Aati Ho "

Suddenly there's an awareness that looks do matter...and so facials , scrubs , Emami "Fair& Handsome" creams

The smile is wreaking havoc....
Nothing can be done about it
"It's all biology at play ...you know testosterones and the progestrones" Quoteth Ajay Devgan in "Yuva"
Cupid has struck...
As I say the smile KILLS



Disclaimer

This particular piece is purely a figment of my imagination ...already stifled by 13 years in a boys-only school followed by those desolate 3 years in a boys-only college

Symptoms may vary across those affected by this strange virus

It's unlikely that such a girl actually exists ...and even if she does I'll prefer life to death..the smile kills naa...

So any resemblance to a person living or dead is highly improbable & purely co-incidental !!!!

All litigations are subject to Kolkata High Court only







Tagged under:

Reflections in Retrospect

"Reports of my death are premature and highly exaggerated." It was a shock of my lifetime to find my obituary printed in the second page of one of the leading dailies of Eastern India, while having my bed tea one fine morning. Anurag Singal is still alive--the statement reverberated across my entire existence.It was after all nothing more than just a printing mistake and now around 5 lacs readers were under the grossly mistaken notion that I had already left for my heavenly abode!!!

The barrage of thoughts culminated in one simple question I asked myself. Have I lived enough ---as the quote goes "There is just one life to live and one is enough". Enough to gaze at the vast blue expanse of the sky, to hear the birds chirping, to find the waters of the Ganga resplendent with the golden hue of the Sun. Enough to look back with nostalgia. To look ahead with hope. I reminded myself of a realisation that had dawned upon me while watching an interview of the legendary comedian as well as an awesome actor, Anupam Kher ---> a man's childhood constitutes his biggest assets --not the million dollars stacked away in his bank account or the dazzling Chevrolet Optra that he drives from home to office. Its on the contrary the number of childhood pranks that you've managed to execute with dexterity. Its the number of times your Dad has had to buy you a chocolate in order to cajole you to go to school.. the number of hard fist blows you've gifted to your peers in school.

Quite fortunate I consider myself to have experienced these little joys of life. The joy of haggling with the vegetable vendor so that the price ultimately negotiated would earn accolades from your Mom, the joy of duping your audit manager beacuse you had to meet someone special today. The joy of racing against the wind and burning off those excess calories, the lush green meadows refreshing your delicate eyes; wearied by those long endless hours crunching data on lifeless MS Excel spreadsheets.From being the cynosure of all eyes to being the notorious backbencher, each phase of life has been unleashing my instincts full throttle. The journey from the 1st year in college where we religiously took down class notes to the 3rd year where all that mattered was a 75% attendance. You would have no qualms /be afflicted by pangs of conscience while slipping out of the class backdoor after your roll number was marked present by the erudite professor.

Change,they say, is the only constant in life. Eveything changes-your perspectives, your ambitions, your hopes, your fears, your greeds --everything. Time forces you to evolve into an altogether different Homo Sapien, one who looks back at the years that have passed by and asks himself "Was it the same me who had acted that way?". Time , they say, is a great teacher. From those early teenage crushes on anyone who looked a fraction alike to your favourite movie star(female..of course) to finally have the temerity to walk past that gorgeous girl and indulge in the self-talk 'Oh ! she is just born with a gr8 face. What's the big deal".

Beauty is a philosophy. Its not about the person who's being beholden but in the mind of the person who's seeing.It all about a perception which can be entirely physical when you don't know the other person. And when you do, its always determined by the other qualities. Its more of a perception which is never black, white or determinate.
.......Global gyaan, dude, simply rocks !!A new dimension to life is added each day.

The change literally takes you by surprise.You smile back and assure yourself." Yeah ! it was me "

Even if I die today, no regrets whatsover. Most of them would remember me with varied emotions --and that variety stands to be my biggest achievement hitherto.

Thanx Lady Luck for being so considerate on this bloke
Tagged under:

Aboard the Boards


ICSE ..our Class 10 Boards....

My younger bro Arps (Arpit), just through with his recently concluded Boards, is now on Cloud Nine. There is this somehow so strange but yet so natural nonchalance that grips you after once the last paper gets over!!!!

Maybe it was because it was your first tryst with pressure ..the pressure of being the cynosure of all eyes ..the pressure of securing a percentage which not just you but all your near and dear ones could boast of for the rest of their lives!!!

So "no stone left unturned" would be the most apt phrase to describe our preparation for the D-Day

There is a complete sea change in our attitude towards studies...those hitherto despised books become so endearing

There are so many first times in our life

For the first time, we actually forge a bond of friendship with the alarm clock and wake up in the morning ...the old adage of "Early to Bed Early To Rise" comes alive

For the first time, we have a hard time convincing our subconscious that missing a cricket ODI is not the end of the world...it's just a temporary comprimise with life

For the first time we say no to an offer for a movie ..even if it's featuring our favorite star
....or an invitation to a wedding reception ..foregoing all the ice creams and the pastries ..

"Mera Boards hai na....mujhe padhna hai" is the standard refrain

For the first time the para addas wear a deserted look

For the first time we pray so fervently " O God ......pls pls pls....."
"I want 90% marks.....okay ..okay..."; you kind of bargain with Him;... "80 % will do ...."
I want to be in the 'top 3 '..okay..okay..enough of bargaining yet again ....'top 10' of my school...
I want to at least pass in all the subjects especially Geography ...
I am leaving Chapter 9 of Chemistry...it's a tough nut to crack...kindly ensure that not many questions come from there... "

This is almost like your walking up to a grocery shop with a requirement list and conveying it all in a minute ...
God, the shopkeeper,would so copiously take down all the notes while you speak and then make an earnest endeavour to deliver it all..that too free of cost in this particular case

A slab wise incentive scheme is put into place w.r.t. the results ..just like the income tax rates put by Chidambaram
A thousand rupees for each mark above 450 in best of five subjects....from Papa
A cycle for passing in all subjects ....from Mummy
A wrist-watch for scoring 'x' marks in Accounts from Chaacha...etc etc..

As the exam days approach, the butterflies in the stomach become all the more nauseating..there's anxiety writ all over that face of yours..."Kya Hoga ?????"

On the exam eve..you purchase the most stylish pen ..cost is not a factor ..after all it's the boards..

As you go off to sleep it's .."Papa pls wake me up in the morning at 4.30 ..."
The Kumbhakran by habit over the years is cautious now "What if I snooze the alarm and doze off to yet another round of sleep..that would be disastrous naa..the just too difficult to memorise devils have to be compulsorily revised"

Finally it's the D-Day ..the make or break moment..
you get so conscious and help yourself to yet another glass of water.

After the exams you simply refuse to discuss the paper with your friends "No discussions this time " is the verdict..
"I just wanna ensure that this inadvervent silly mistake doesn't creep in during the discussion and play spoilsport for the rest of my exams..."

So it's a season ..the season of so many 'first times' ..that will take you into the world of nostalgia whenever you want a few years down the line ..when your brother,son, grandson..have their brsuh with reality for the first time ..

This article of mine published in The Telegraph...Careergraph...Word Of Mouth ...4th of April,2001 encapsulates the way I felt after my board exams..

Here it goes..

"Surmounting the Boards challenge is really great"..exclaim all the students of our batch. For some the results are a gateway to the Hall of fame, others wait to study Science after that 80%,for yet more it's an ordeal that they've cleared somehow.The happiest part is that we've bid farewell to History, Geography...

Whether you want to study Shakespeare or not, whether you are interested in knowing what Lord Wavell proposed to Gandhiji or whether Sipu nadi flows from north-east to south-west or not, you have to master 3000 pages of the curriculum, solve 10 years papers, avoid playing and gossiping for at least two months and yet not utter a word in protest...that's preparing for the Board Exams

We've successfully overcome 11 tension laden days including the daunting Physics paper and now wait with great anticipation for June.Now we are the cynosure of all eyes.In a moment we may turn from heroes to zeroes or vice versa.Prizes await or punishment.It's tormenting.It's frustating.It's a harrowing experience preparing for ICSE 2001.Its mind boggling studying for hours together.Yet 183 students of DBL have got their act together and done it.Now the para addas are active again and the air is laden with a buzz of excitement.We're basking in the glory of being matriculates,subject to the results in June.Who'll feature in the toppers list???Who'll score how many '1' points( greater than 90 marks in a particular subject)?? Will anyone score 99s ??Lots of statistics!!Lots of celebrations or........!!!!

Come what may, we are prepared
Tagged under:

Little Reasons ............

Call it my idiosyncracy..
Call it my fetish...

I cannot wait for something gargantuan to happen in my life before I feel like smiling.

I cannot wait to be the cynosure of all eyes before I start feeling great about myself..

I cannot wait to clear a rigorous academic exam before I actually believe in my intellectual capabilities...

For me life itself is a reason to celebrate..
For me life itself a reason to raise the bar each day...

Very rarely would you come across a homo sapien whose intra day high in emotions can be the joy of learning a simple keyboard shortcut in MS Excel.. or the awareness that someone sweet has smiled just because of his creative mail or sms or even a missed call

The joy of waking until midnight to sing the Happy Birthday song for your close friend and then candidly asking him " I am the first one to wish you naa ?"

The joy of duping your audit manager and rushing off from office just because you wanna meet someone special today

The joy of haggling with the vegetable vendor just because the price negogiated finally would yield accolades from your mother

The joy of indulging in para adda for endless hours with friends and winding up with the jhaal muris and the puchka parties

True that these do not constitute the bullets in your Curriculum Vitae

Agreed that these are not material from a materialistic point of view

Life demands something more isn't it ?
Should one wait for something more concrete ( maybe a plum job....) before it's appropriate to celebrate ??

But that requires patience ....tons of it ..which I daresay I do not possess in the least measure ...and it's too late for me to mend my deformed ways...

Why wait till tomorrow when there are opportunities plethora rite now

To look back with nostalgia

To look ahead with hope

To meet today's challenges with a smile


You see tomorrow smilinganurag@gmail.com as an e-mail id may no longer be available

You see the birds may not chirp tomorrow... the flowers may not bloom tomorrow

You see life may not wait for you till tomorrow



P.S

Often people let their imagination run wild and concoct myriad explanations for such posts..So to be on the safe side ..let me clarify that
I am not currently in the audit of Joy Engineering Ltd ( It's a client of E&Y and not Deloitte) nor have i just realised that I have AIDS / Cancer ( so I am not trying to emulate Rajesh Khanna in Anand )
It's just that it takes 63 muscles to frown ... only 7 to smile .....laziness at it's nadir!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (See even the figures are not well researched)

On more confidential note .........promise that this secret will be only between you and me............. I am waiting for someone to get infatuated by my smile !!!
Tagged under:

The Small Investor.....................

My 2nd year college life was characterised by absence of even a bit of the company fellow friends ,Romans and countrymen desired, cherished...

To blame were people like Mapara who've so cunningly cajoled me into crazy propositions..........
(The quantumn of time I've spent talking to him over the phone and in real life would have been enough to term us "happy & ..." & enough for me to forge friendship bonds with the famous and fortunate feminines )...anyways no point crying over spilled milk..

SUMMER PROJECT FOR BEYOND CHALK & TALK...WHERE THEORY MEETS PRACTICE

Our project was titled " The Small Investor.....Investment Avenues " ....
Summer Project because it starts in the summers ( April'04)
Unfortunately / Fortunately the season changed by the time the Final Presentation was made ( Feb'05)
On a high-sounding note it aimed at intellectually empowering him (Her..also) within the ambit of constraints faced by him( Her again ...emphatically)

Plz note any mention henceforth of "His " basically also refers to "Her" ...The summer project was my last chance to salvage my sagging fortunes by investing ininvestment advice...at least I could win some intelligent girl's heart by rendering rock-solid consultancy services

Excerpts of my first corporate interview in ABN Amro

The first lessons of financial planning learnt were:

To begin with
One must have a clear vision of what he wants to achieve in life ..........
"an intelligent girl ... girlfriend "....my heart replied instantaneously

One must plan the time horizon for achieving these goals .....
" as soon as possible ...bang on was the reply"

More gyan ensued ......

One must begin early in life...to make the power of compounding work wonders for you ....
"I must start searching for her today itself... i am already late ! "

That you should opt for a diversified portfolio ....that mitigates the risk...
"Ok , then just Shrinidhi would not do....I must approach a few more of girls of her type ..putting all your eggs in one basket is suicidal "


We had begun our project on a sticky wicket ...especially me .....
Our mentor Hanif initially did not select me in his team because I was smiling all the time ....signs that I wasn't serious enough. Then only when the esteemed chosen ones literally shocked our mentor Mr Hanif with the initial draft of the project and one of them had a motor cycle accident ( Divine Intervention! ) that I was offered the job...no salaries though...
Anurag Singal accepted it with a pinch of salt officially .... albeit he was ecstatic in his heart of hearts ...

Preparing these projects I had thought would entail visiting www.google.com and clicking on " I am feeling lucky" after puching in the project heading
If you copied from several sites , it would be termed research !
If you copied from only one site , you'd be blamed for plagiarism !!

My perception was highly mistaken...Infact by the end I was basically dumbfounded by the adversityof my experiences..
When I actually got into the nitty-gritty of preparing one...life rocked!!!

Each day as I dozed off to the cozy world of my drmzs , Mapara interrupted with unfailing regularity at 10pm and amidst dreary eyes and yawns I would answer his incessant questions on the text, the powerpoint, the survey .......

Very rarely has it occurred in my life that I have approached strangers on the road....but this time I was adamant to harass them with a volley of questions ...spending as much time as THEY were willing to waste....you see to get a first hand feel of the ground reality (the viewpoint of the actual investor) was essential!!!

This time I even visited Kabadi shops ....requesting the Kabadiwala uncles to search for old editions of Business Worlds and India Todays!!!! Those decade old photographs and statistics would be manna for my project ...same for age old libraries, ancient almirahs in my house ....... The best was a 1993 India Today...

I even went to the extent of stealing my neighbour's mail just because it was a newsletter from ICICI and I suspected there would be be interesting cartoons...to scan and insert in my powerpoint presentation...and believe me they actually worked wonders

Befriended an old enemy just because his elder brother pursuing MBA (Finance) could bail me out at opportune moments .....

The list goes on and on......

Hiring for Rs 500 (but later settling the deal at Rs 200) a computer professional to design an animation in Flash....

Hiring (but finally not paying) another one to record the Kotak Mahindra .."If Money Would Grow On Trees" clipping beamed on CNBC

Keeping a close tab on my competitors... Credit Cards, Corporate Governance, Call Centres,Whistle Blowing, ITC, Pepsi, Shoppers Stop....

Hours spent analysing (and even manipulating to my convenience) the investment survey data ...

OUR PREPARATION WAS REALLY COOL ...AFTER ALL IT WAS A SUMMER PROJECT
But on the screening day we were goofed.... so engrossed we were in the powerpoint that we simply neglected the accompanying speech ....made a fool of ourselves simply because both me and Mapara were staring at each other bereft of words....
To add to our woes the political mandarins somehow decided ( and this was atrocious)that the scores would be carried forward to the Main Presentation (for the first time in St. Xavier's history of annual presentations)....we were ranked fifth .....only the top three would be awarded certis of excellence ....

"Often we stand at life's crossroads ..viewing what we think is the end
God has a different plan for us and says
It's not the end ... just a bend "

Surely we would begin the Final Presentation on the backfoot.... but should we take it lying down??????

The next 3 days ...72 hours ...we waged a war against the impending failure .....against the political conspicary...

The other 2 hitherto dormant members of our team Vikash and Shreyans stepped in at this critical juncture

Takes and retakes .... We had to be perfect at our speech...we forced Mapara to mug up his portion literally at gunpoint....he was the biggest risk factor ....

The D Day

12 minutes sharp for our resurrection ....
peering at us were the corporate czars from the top-notch companies .......
our hearts palpitated

Mapara lived up to his reputation ...faltered thrice ...introduced me on-stage as the person to his right though I was standing to his left ... I couldn't resist myself from hurling abuses!(Luckily no one noticed though)

The Kotak Mahindra clipping hanged .. By God's grace Vikash proceeded to the next slide.....

After the initial skirmishes , the plane finally took off and Boy the audience was enthralled ...our Powerpoint visually dazzled one and all ...

As I signed off wishing the crowd Happy Investing...a thunderous applause greeted us !!

We had stretched ourselves beyond the limits of our imagination .....and now we were hoping against hope ....

Can we storm into a top three ???

Certificate of Excellence / a mere Certificate of Participation ??

Our hearts palpitated once again ...

HURRAY

We stormed into the top three..albeit third ...

The winners take it all...a grand treat for the four of us...we enjoyed life to the hilt that evening

IN WAR RESOLUTE

IN DEFEAT DEFIANT

IN VICTORY MAGNANIMOUS
Tagged under:

Teacher......

We are what we are today because of our teachers........

I would beg to depart from the conventional definition of a teacher only being one of those school and college teachers who merely instill in us knowledge to clear examinations

There have been times when even a kid teaches you lessons or let's say, make you revise those age old lessons..........
That you should always smile!
That you should be responsive to the colours all around you !!
That you should find time to stare at the vast blue exapnse of the sky and experience the joy of spotting an eagle soaring higher and higher!!!

and yes

That you should pray...."Bhagwan Ji Sab Thik Kar Denge".. the kid often tells you in his innocent voice!!!!

I have been very lucky to find friends who've taught me at times lessons that have stood me in good stead always ....

That it's not enough to be sincere and so you also have to be smart........
That you can't change horses mid-stream...
That my biggest deficiency is that I lack self-confidence......something which is indispensable for success in today's cut-throat competition

Now coming to the conventional teacher...let me cite this wonderful incident

In Xavier's as we stepped into first year..there was a particular subject called IFS ..and I was very eager to know who my professor would be

There entered one of those typical nerds .....and I couldn't restrain myself from blurting out " Is is this person our professor ?"

Unlucky/lucky as I was , he spotted me immediately and strangely asked me to say any number between 1 to 10

Think Bigger .Think Better

I said "10"

You are suspended from my class for 10 weeks...

On pleading ..the weeks became classes..he refused to budge any further

Amazing incident naa........

But I have no regrets as I thorougly enjoyed roaming around in the college campus at 9 am ( IFS was always the last period for the day) ....and if anyone would allege that I was bunking...I could reply " That I was under official Vanwaas" and I could enjoy the green benches ..